28 December 2016

Exhale


I get home and change myself into something clean and comfortable but nice. I'm making myself a coffee even though it's dark outside. A. laughingly asks me to shred a cabbage. He already knows the answer is no. Not tonight. I get a call from a friend asking me to go out. I say no, not tonight. On my way to the sofa I get the remote control, my laptop and my phones. I have everything I need within arm's reach. I am going to watch
The Fall. It is dark, heavy, provocative and slow paced. In between episodes, I'll finish some work and write a little. I am going to stay up late, very late.

You guessed it right: I just took the boys to spend the rest of their vacation at my parents. Boys, if you ever read this and you don't have kids already just know that I love you to pieces but moms need time to play just as much as you did when you were kids, just as much as you do. If you ever read this and you have kids, you know exactly what I mean.

I'm sitting right under the Christmas tree, alone and I'm loving it. Sometimes alone is good, even under the Christmas tree. I'm drinking the last sip of coffee. There's going to be a long lonely night and I'm loving it. I exhale.

A solitude a day keeps the doctor away!

P.S. when I am not as relaxed, I just want to throw tantrum

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