17 October 2016

My compass at 36

I look into my heart and outside too, almost nothing has changed. I look into my mind and somehow I feel more settled than a year ago. And settled is good. Maybe I know "1 year more" of navigating though life. With acceptance rather than frustration. Possibly because I am running to 40 now. Don't we all run, these days?! Somehow I just grew more accustomed to the pace. Or is it just because today is a good day?! Or maybe, 36 years on earth, and I finally found that thing. You may call it: balance, holy grail, the path, inner peace, happiness, infinity, whatever. Today I call it my compass. It shows me the north and the south and the est and the west. And everything in between. This is what I use as guidance along life's way, my way:


I am sure I got this from my mother. Her calm and kindness are the greatest traits I inherited. It was only after I become a mother myself and failed a couple of times at it, I decided I never wanted to have that awful feeling of guilt again. My close family sometimes lovingly tells me I am too kind. Which I take as a compliment although is not meant that way. But I keep on doing my thing because this is what I want my kids to say about me: "Mom is kind and we do fun stuff together all the time"

"One day you'll understand that it's harder to be kind than clever" says Jeff Bezos in  "What matters more than your talents"  speech at Princeton.


I see successful people around, yet their lack of self confidence transpires through their actions. They lose energy over small dramas. Of course I too, doubt myself sometimes, but most days I trust me. And I put trust in my close family and friends. If disappointment comes as a result of their actions I say to myself:  " It's not you, don't take it personally" and I move on. "Self-reliance is the greatest art". More interesting thoughts on trust from "the one and only" Brene Brown on "The anatomy of trust" 


We were on a nice vacation when Cristian says out of the blue: " A family never stops" . Of course this was followed by one of those deep conversations only Cristian can spark. The truth is family was my only "ambition" in life. The only thing I pursued with both heart and mind.  I am very grateful to have it for the last 10 years now. It is my number one priority, the place where I get most of my struggles, where I put a lot of work and forgiveness. But in the end of the day, nothing makes me happier. And this is what families are for: a happy place to turn to everyday.


This may come as a surprise but sleep is my secret weapon. Enough sleep gives me the strength to accomplish a lot during one day, in a good spirit. Sleep has become non-negotiable for me and my life is so much better now. Proud I found this even before it become a thing. Arianna Huffington started her sleep revolution and you can find more about it here: On Family, Success and Sleep.

For the first time, I'm more 40 than I am 30 and I am pretty fine with it. I admit I was surprised to see some gray hair this year and some other stuff going on with my body. However, I love what I grew into on the inside. That's the best part of being 36. You know what you want, you know what clothes fit you and you know exactly how you like things to be done. And most of the times I claim my way.

Today is a good day. May all your days be merry and kind!


P.S. my picture is part of the series "I feel princessy" - thus the happy pose I do when I feel special and rich as a princess, while traveling to a new place.

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