11 February 2014
Keep Calm and Yell Not
I, too, had a bad afternoon yesterday. I was putting my kids to bed after a long day (we spent the weekend at the mountains) when C told me:
- Mom, I had a bad afternoon!
- How come? I thought we had lots of fun today.
- I won't tell you...
- Please do! It's your right to feel bad if something is bothering you, so please tell me.
- When daddy raised his voice at me I felt... I don't know... desperate... I didn't know what to do...
I can't even begin to tell you how little I felt that instant. I was left speechless but at the same time I was trying to find words to comfort my son. I felt guilty and ashamed for all the times I've done it myself. Since I don't hit my kids, I told myself it was OK-ish to yell. How stupid of me!! So I made a promise I will really really try not to shout at my boys never again.
Cristian makes me so proud when I hear him expressing his feelings. I do hope he will continue to do so to the crazy teenage years. And I also hope I'll know how to listen and make him proud of me, too.
P.S. Unconditional parenting with Alfie Kohn