19 November 2013

Love is a returning boomerang

Tudor had a hard time going to sleep today.  He didn't even want to stay in bed so he cried and yelled until he threw up and then, little by little, things started to cool down. At least he did. I wish I could cry the tears blurring my eyes. I wish I could swallow the guilt stuck in my throat. And I wish I could mute the voices in my head that keep telling me : "You're doing it all wrong". I wish for all these so I can cool down myself now that he just fell asleep.

It's me ... and I wish I knew how to make things wright. I search for answers in books, on-line and among my friends' experiences. Today I watched this video from "Totul despre mame" (All about moms) Youtube channel: Solutions to deal with disobedient kids. From the first phrase I knew I was in the right place: "The main reason a child refuses to do what he is asked to is that he needs attention and he is not getting it. This is the way he is expressing his discontent... and it is an answer back to what the child gets from his parents... Kids need to know that we are there for them and that we understand what they are going through":

I get it. I imagine that being 2 is just as hard, or even harder, than being 32. When you are 2, or 3 or 5 you need love. When you are 20, or 30 or 50 you still need love. But the love that you get when you are 2 determines the way you act when you are 20, or 30 or 50: with confidence, self-esteem and generosity.  Unconditional love is real love, the love that we, the parents, struggle to show. I try. Every day. And I learn. So that I can offer my boys the best present I can give them: presence and the kind of love they want to get from me.

After throwing up, Tudor started to calm down. I asked him to put his head on his pillow. He did so. I covered him with his beloved blanky and I kissed him to sleep. He asked me:
- Mommy, kiss some more! / Ma(i) pupa!
I did so.
- Mommy, caress me! / Mangaie!
I did so.

So, all that time he was just yelling:
- Mommy, love me!
I finally did so.

A joy a day keeps the doctor away!
Aura - Appreciative Joy Curator

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P.S. Another video I like a lot is "How can our kids be successful" - an interview with Michael Thompson (in English with Romanian subtitles). Enjoy!

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